A Matter Of Worth
by Ditzy 1978
Summary: Will Harry learn what he is Worth? HPSS


Title: A Matter Of Worth

Author: Ditzy

Rating: PG13

Summery: Sometimes it's about learning what your worth.

Disclaimer: My name isn't J, K, Rowling so I own nothing you read here. So make no money from these characters.

A big thank you to Amanda Saitou for betaing for me.

"Harry, don't go. I've got a really bad feeling about you going. I think if you do, you'll regret it" Ron said normally. It was Hermione who was against Harry taking his now regular trips down to the Slytherin common room. While Ron had never been especially happy about Harry's relationship with Draco, he had never tried to stop Harry from seeing Draco.

"I have to see him Ron. Something has changed between us, but I'm not sure what. I need to sort things out."

"Just be careful ok? There still are some Slytherins who still want to hurt you, even jus to kill you for defeating You Know Who."

"I know Ron. I'll be careful."

The trip down the Slytherin common room went completely uneventfully, Harry didn't even see Filch's cat. Even getting into the common room was achieved with the minimum of fuss. Nothing really happened until Harry reached Draco's door. The noises coming from inside the room were an obvious indicator of what was going on inside the room. Harry, at this point, thought about turning away. Harry had become known for his bravery in the past, but at this point he felt like running away from what he knew was happening and pretending that he didn't know.

Harry, however, was not and never had been a coward, so instead of running away he opened the door. He found Draco in a passionate embrace with Blaize. "I guess I now know why things have felt strained between us Draco."

Draco only noticed Harry there after Harry had spoken. "Shit. Harry, wait, don't go."

"Why shouldn't I, Draco? You should have realised that after I found out that we would be over."

"It doesn't have to mean that. We can carry on as we were and just add Blaize into the mix. It'll be fun." The smirk on Draco's face suggested that he believed that he could take Harry around with this argument.

"You know, Draco, if you really believed that I would be swayed by that argument you wouldn't have been seeing Blaize behind my back. You would have tried to talk me into the idea from the start. The reason that you didn't was because you knew that I wouldn't be interested. We're through Draco."

"Do you think that I'm going to let you go easily? Believe me, if you walk out on me you will regret it. I don't let go of what's mine, and you're mine. So I would suggest that you learn to live with Blaize."

"Draco, you should know by now, you don't scare me. You never have done. As I said, we're through. If you don't like that it's tough." Harry walked away from the new couple feeling sad that he had just lost another person that he had loved. While it was an improvement on the people he loves dying, it was still amazingly painful.

"Did anything happen?" Said Ron almost immediately when Harry walked back into their dorm room. He had obviously been worrying while Harry had been out.

"Yeah, I found him in bed with Blaize. I'm not exactly sure how long he's been cheating on me, but I now know why things have felt weird between us for a while. He also threatened me that if I dumped him that I would regret it. I can't believe that he thinks that he can threaten me."

"Draco still doesn't realise that the Malfoy name doesn't make us scared it never did and it certainly doesn't now" Ron said while shaking his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, but I have the feeling that he has something up his sleeve. I'm not scared but I think that he is planning something as revenge" Said Harry sounding worried.

"Don't worry about it mate. You've been through more than Draco could ever dish out and survived. There's nothing that he can do that can really hurt you."

"I know Ron, but it hurts that he wants to hurt me. We've been together for nearly a year and we've been pretty good together. It was him that cheated and now he wants to hurt me for leaving him."

"Do you think that he's going to try attacking you? If so, Hermione and I will look out for you. Not that you can't look out for yourself."

"Nah, he's a Slytherin, he's going to be more sneaky than that. Not to mention that he knows he can't win if he attacks me."

Harry hardly slept that night. As Ron said he would survive anything that Draco had in store for him. But still found it painful that Draco was going to try and hurt him.

It happened at breakfast the next morning. Harry had expected Draco to let him stew for a long time. However Draco decided to strike while the iron was hot.

"Listen everyone I've got something to tell you about the boy who lived." Draco said smirking, a look of triumph on his face. "Harry Potter is a nancy boy, a pouf, a faggot, a friend of Dorothy, in short, gay. Now many of you may think that I'm lying. But I can assure you that I am not. He just didn't want you to know as it would take the shine of his image as The Boy Who Lived and then killed You Know Who."

"Is that the best you can do, Draco? I'm not ashamed of being gay, I never have been. I've just never thought that it was anyone's business. Everyone who matters to me already know. Image and social standing is something that matters to you Draco. As long as I can look myself in the mirror I've never really cared what other people think of me.

"We've been together for nearly a year. And you obviously believe that being gay is something to be ashamed of. That makes me sad for you Draco. You'll always be ashamed of who you are. I'm not. And Draco, please stop trying to get revenge on me. It won't work and believe me in the end it is you who will end up looking bad. You have no reason to be angry with me."

At this point Harry moved away from the Gryffindor table, and walked out of the Great Hall. Everyone was silent after what had just happened.

As it was the weekend Harry didn't have any classes, so sought solitude. Ron and Hermione would know where to find him if they were worried, though he knew that they would not follow him. Over the years they had learned the ways that they each dealt with stress, and had learned to let each other deal with it. The days of judging each other because they dealt with stress in a different way had been over for a long while now.

So Harry was surprised when he heard footsteps walking in his direction. "Well done Potter, you dealt with that situation admirably." Professor Snape was standing over, Harry actually looking as impressed as he confessed to being. "Draco has never understood that there are things that are more important than social standing."

"I know. He'll realise soon that if he had kept his mouth shut no one would know that I had dumped him, which will probably lower his social standing more than it has already been after his father's actions in the war. Though that wasn't my intention, I had no idea what he was planning to do. I knew that he had something up his sleeve, when I caught him with Blaize last night he threatened that I would regret it if I left him. Only Draco would threaten someone after being caught cheating."

"As Draco's Godfather, I know how arrogant his whole family is. He is a better man than his father, but I was still shocked to find that you were with him. Or course I knew before today. I was just surprised that you would find Draco attractive. I know that money isn't something that would attract you to him. While he's grown to be physically attractive I would have thought that it would take more than that for you to date him. You could pretty much get anyone you wanted."

"I guess I hoped that I could make him into a better person. I persuaded him to turn away from Voldermort before it was too late. I guess it's the saviour complex. Hermione's been telling me for years that I have to get over that."

"Over the last two years I've got to know you reasonably well." This was indeed true, since it became known that Harry was the only one who could defeat Voldemort. Harry and Severus had worked together very closely until the end of the war. While they had not talked as much since the end of the war, they had remained friendly. "I realise that you feel the need to save people. I guess that is what people expect of you, and you have lived up to everyone's expectations. However, try and find someone who you don't have to save. Someone who is whole. Or at least as whole as possible. You've saved more people than your fair share. If you never save another person, or do another selfless act. You have done more than your fair share for the planet. I know that that won't stop you from giving more, but you should begin to think about what others can do for you."

"I'll think about what you said Professor. But I'm not sure what else I have to offer apart from saving people. I mean, if it wasn't for the whole prophecy thing, the only thing that I would be any good at is Quidditch."

"You know, I used to have conversations with Albus about how arrogant I believed you were. He used to tell me that I was wrong about you. The irony was that I was too arrogant to listen to him.

"Harry, you are one of the most intelligent students that have ever walked through Hogwarts doors. Your Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL marks were actually the best that Hogwarts have ever seen. You beat both Voldermort and Albus. You are the most gifted Wizard of your age Harry." Severus said sincerely.

Harry spent a long time thinking about what Severus had said. That he should try and find someone who didn't need saving. That perhaps he was worth more than that. While intellectually he knew that he had worth. Internally Harry had always believed what the Dursleys had said about him. That he was worthless and would not amount to anything. He had already proven that to be incorrect, after all he was the youngest person ever to win an Order of Merlin first class. Ginny had also won the Order, but had only won the second class medal.

When he thought about it, it was silly that he had such low self esteem. He had had a pivotal role in saving the world. While he would not be as arrogant to say that he did it on his own. His role was more important than anyone else's, no one else could have killed Voldermort. How many people could say that they had saved the world?

Which meant as Professor Snape said that he did not owe the world anything else, he had saved enough people. Which meant that he could just look for someone who could make him happy, and who in return he could make happy. This led him to start listing the people in his life that it was possible for him to have an equal relationship with.

Ron – Like a brother and with Hermione.

Hermione – Like a sister and with Ron.

Ginny – Like a sister.

Note all Weasleys should be discounted as all are like family.

Remus – Cross between Godfather and uncle.

Albus- NO NO NO.

Hagrid – Supposed to be thinking about people I would not have to save.

Professor Snape - …

The thing that shocked Harry was not that Severus was the only person that he could think of that he could be happy with, that he wouldn't feel that he was putting in the majority of the effort. Not even that the idea didn't disgust him as it would have years before. Harry had worked out that the reason that he had thought that Severus was so ugly in the past was because Severus had been so cruel to him in the past. As they had now become something like friends, as much as it was possible for a student and teacher to become. Harry had begun to see how attractive Severus was. No the thing that actually shocked Harry was that he never noticed that Severus was perfect for him before.

There was now only one problem. Was he as perfect for Severus as Severus was for him? Wouldn't the relationship just be the same as the ones that he had been in, only the other way round, with Severus saving him?

Over the last year Harry had become used to going to Severus if he had a serious problem. Admittedly they had up to this point always been about something to do with Voldermort or the war. Harry had however believed that he could go and talk to Severus about anything if he had needed to.

But what exactly should he say? 'After talking to you I realised that you were the person I was looking for.' 'You're really great and I want to be with you. Will you go out with me?' Both statements made him sound exactly like the teenager he was. How on earth would he be able to convince Severus that he wouldn't end up looking after him instead of being partners?

But even with these arguments Harry couldn't help but think that the best course of action would be to talk to Severus. The only way that he could think of doing this would be to talk about the situation with him without actually making it clear that he was actually talking about Severus.

By the time Harry had made it to Severus' quarters he was as nervous as he had been when going to confront Draco the previous night. Though at this point it was hard for him to believe that it had only been the night before. Emotionally he had moved to such a different place in the last few hours. It made him realise that he couldn't have cared about Draco as much as he had thought he had, or it would have taken longer to get over it. It showed that he had really just trying to be a saviour again.

Severus opened the door to his rooms almost as soon as he heard the knock at the door. He was hoping that it would be Harry, although he did not believe that it would be. He was beginning to feel guilty about what he had said to Harry earlier. It had practically been a plea to Harry to notice him. He knew the few people in Harry's age group who could actually be what Harry needed were people that Harry would never dream of being with. Plus Harry needed to realise what would make him happy for himself.

"Hello again, Professor. May I talk to you?"

"Of course Harry. I hope that you haven't been thinking too much on what I said to you this morning. It isn't really my concern who you date." Severus said hoping that he sounded as sincere as he had earlier.

"Actually, I have Professor. Don't worry though, I realised that you were right. I go for people who I thought needed me so that I would feel worth while. Also in the back of my mind I thought that anyone who didn't need me wouldn't want me. It made me realise that there has been someone who I've been attracted to for a long time, but had ignored the attraction because I believed that they would never be attracted to me." Said Harry sounding sadder the longer he talked.

"Why would you believe that Harry? Any one would be lucky to have you, you're a good person."

"I guess because the person that I'm interested is a lot older than me. He might think that he would end up looking after me. He probably thinks that I'm just a kid." Harry said sounding even more sad than he had before.

"If he thinks that you're a baby goat he truly has a problem. And if he sees you as a child he simply hasn't gotten to know you. You haven't been a child for a very long time. No one could still be a child after what you have been through."

"How could you think that this guy would be interested in me when you wouldn't be? I mean this guy is your age." Harry said sounding desperate.

"I would be Harry."

"Really?" Said Harry sounding happier than he ever had.

"If it was what you wanted."

"It is."

And really there wasn't a lot more that needed to be said.


End file.
